"I Wanna Do It!"

This is our 3 year old, Jaron. He is a sweet, funny, attentive, active and helpful little boy. He loves to help with everything. It's pretty great . . . sometimes. Really, I can't believe I'm even going to complain about what I'm going to complain about. Let me put it in light of it's a concern that Clark and I are starting to have; something we aren't entirely sure how to deal with.

You pretty much expect by the time a kid hits the age of 3 that a temper tanturm is going to happen now and then. Typically it is over the fact that they don't get their way. Maybe I had crazy ideas of what parenthood was about but I expected those to be induced by not getting a cookie when desired or not getting to watch TV. Well, Jaron is a little different. His break-downs occur over not getting to set the table, open the blinds, make his bed, put away his clothes, empty the dishwasher, vacuum, sort the laundry, clean up all the toys himself, etc. Do you get my drift?

Ok, these aren't small melt-downs. These are huge. Usually it starts something like this: "Jaron, I'm going to set the table would you like to help?" Which he then proceeds to answer that he does. My verision of help and his verision of help are two different things. I figure he can handle the place mats while I get the plates. Or he'll put on napkins while I put on silverware. You know, work together. His idea is doing everything himself. Which, in most cases, I'm fine with that, he just never communicates it. Even if I ask the most detailed questions I still don't get a clear response. So if I make an unwanted attempt of helping by putting on the silverware, he losses it. He insists that everything be undone so that he can do it again.

Well, you might argue, why not? In some situations, not a big deal. Sure, I wouldn't mind taking off the forks and knives and letting him re-do. But once I've unloaded the whole dishwasher - no way! Or sorted all the laundry - not going to happen.

The problem is that the outrage and frustration this causes to him lasts for sometimes a good 30 minutes or more. Screaming, crying, demanding and being completely unreasonable. Where is that sweet little kid now? Any suggestions? Or should I just look forward to the day when he is a teenager and I'm screaming, crying and demanding him to "please set the table!"