Enjoying Motherhood

I am not a perfect mother. I probably fail more times than I succeed. But I try. My kids aren't perfect either; most likely that's my fault. But I'm learning lots from them. My Mother's Day comes early this year like it does every year since Jaron was born. He joined our family 4 years ago just 3 days before Mother's Day. Thanks Jaron. I was always grateful for that. Of course, when I found out that the hospital gave diamond necklaces to the women who had babies on Mother's Day I was little jealous. [Although Russell came on Father's Day and no gifts were given out that day; at least none that we saw. Clark even missed out on the large chocolate candy bar they gave out in church. Poor guy. He lucked out and got a son instead.]

For weeks I've been feeling reminiscent and very thoughtful about my role as a mother. I love it! I am grateful to see these little people learn, grow, change, and progress. It truly is amazing. However, there are days that it can drive me a little crazy. How do you juxtapose the sheer delight of seeing, doing and enjoying every moment with your children throughout the day with the misery of Clark leaving the house every morning and seeing how many hours stretch out before me? Some days feel eternal. Quite possibly because I have three little kids.

I'm told again and again how fleeting this time is. I know that motherhood doesn't end when a child grows up and leaves the house but it changes. The intensity of my role is right now. I'm helping to shape, mold, guide and direct. I'm a creative force in action (even if my mediums are very resistant.)

Watching home movies tonight of both the boys as babies I couldn't get over how quickly they've changed. How does one go about best enjoying it? I truly believe it's in those small moments even if they are hard to find. I think a little dose of humor helps too. I confess, I've very selfish about my babies - I want to hold them! It's hard to share because I know they won't be babies for long. I hate to give up Eliza- even when I'm playing the piano in primary. (Hey, I've managed to serve as Primary pianist every time I have a baby so I'm pretty good at playing-the-piano-with-baby thing.)

I am always in awe of other mothers. I love to see what they do, or what they recollect, or what they love. My sister always offers such great perspective to me. Partially because she has teenagers - I use to hold her babies!! - but she also has such a great sense of humor and adventure. She has told me how she loved chasing her toddlers around the house to catch them and change dirty diapers. It has changed my perspective because I would just view it as a frustrating challenge. Now after prayers when Russell decides to do laps around the couch I find it enjoyable instead of annoying. I know he'll out grow it some day and then I'll miss it. My sister is such a great example to me of a woman who loves motherhood.

My mother . . . everyone's mother is great but she is incredible. She is the mother of seven children (5 boys!!). Every time I'm pregnant she always says to me, "I wish I had had more children." That to me just says it all. Of course, I'm always thanking her for making it to number 6. I'm at three and having a hard time thinking that long term! She has taught me about love, selflessness, compassion, and the love of learning. She's always reading a book and my children love that she is always ready to read them a book. I don't do that enough. My mother is such a great example to me of a woman who loves motherhood. Thanks Mom, you're the best!

It's been a long week, a very long week. I regularly face each morning and think to myself "not again". I want to change that attitude. Instead I want to replace it with what continues to come to my mind "This time is fleeting; have an eternal perspective." As seasoned parents know: the babies learn how to sleep through the night, the toddlers grow out of their tantrums, and the preschoolers eventually learn how to do things themselves; enjoy the season, enjoy the change, the challenge, the monotony and the unpredictability. To my three darling little children: thanks for making me a mother. I'm enjoying it.